So you are now a proud mommy. You managed to get through nine months of ups and down, underwent lots of emotional roller coaster rides, physical discomfort and much more.
And now, you have pushed out a human! That’s something to be very proud of. And that’s something you should celebrate.
But you’ve got no time to appreciate yourself because you have this little bundle of joy that’s gonna take your time and attention for the next few months or years.
Post child birth or postpartum can be a critical stage in any woman’s life. It is also the period when many women undergo depression that leads to serious consequences.
You can safely blame it on the hormones though – there is a huge drop and rise (and what not!) in the hormones right after childbirth.
This leads to mood swings and other physical discomfort, added with the discomfort due to childbirth, sleepless nights, and many other factors!
Women can get a lot irritable and cranky during this period, and end up with stress and anxiety too.
There can also be some confusion about handling the baby – like the breastfeeding challenges, making the baby sleep well, any health issues that affect the baby and so on.
As you can see, there are a LOT of factors that are in play here.
The end result can be feeling pathetic. Even though you could be enjoying your bundle of joy and the time with him/her, you could entirely miss your “self”.
You wouldn’t get the time to treat yourself properly! And you would feel restless and “on your toes” all the time because you now have to fit in your schedule into a 24×7 of the baby’s.
And that can be really challenging.
This kind of a hectic lifestyle combined with the inability to take care of yourself can lead to feeling pathetic – and it also lead to a very stressful phase.
Here’s how to turn that feeling around and cope with this phase.
Get help!
You must realise that you cannot do it all. In fact, there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
Many will be willing to help you out especially since you are with a baby. You must just ask.
Get as much help as you can so you free your hands off the routine stuff that can be taken care of by someone else.
If your mom or mother in law can help you out with cooking, and/or maintaining the house, that would give you a lot of time to attend to the baby.
If that’s not an option you can ask a friend to help you with an occasional meal, or to sit with the baby while you cook or do your chores.
One more option is to join new moms in your neighbourhood and take turns with baby sitting, so each one of you get free time in a particular day of the week.
The ultimate goal is to free yourself from some responsibilities and chores so you get extra time on hand.
Get as much sleep as you can
I know the is easier said than done. Right from the moment a baby arrives, sleep is something you need to compromise on.
You will end up going through a lot of sleepless nights. And that can take a toll on your physical and mental health.
Sleeplessness can make you irritable, can give you mood swings, can make your immune system weak.
In addition, you could also end up gaining weight.
Which is why you need to make sure you catch up on those zzzzs that you lose while you take care of the baby.
If you can sleep while the baby sleeps, that would be great. I know the only time you get to do something all by yourself is when the baby sleeps.
You could be having a list of things to do during that time. But having to catch up on your sleep is a crucial thing too!
Don’t be afraid to say NO
When you have a baby in your life, you are certainly not at the liberty of pleasing others with your YES all the time.
There could be many occasions where you should have to say NO and please just say it!
If you try to be nice and polite, you will end up messing things.
Why put yourself in an extra stressful situation by saying yes to something you cannot do? Remember, you could already be in stress with the new schedule that you have!
Appreciate yourself for what you have done and are doing
See, you have done a great thing! You have bought a human to the world, and that’s no easy job, right?
Don’t be hard on yourself, and don’t let the guilt build up.
Does the baby cry when you are starting to drink your coffee? Don’t feel guilty or frustrated.
Just finish you coffee as soon as you can and pick up the baby, or get someone to help.
You need time to carry out certain personal tasks and if you have to leave your baby for a while during that time, don’t feel guilty about it.
Appreciate any help you are getting
It is easy to get frustrated at every struggle you are going through. And due to that, you could be totally blind and unappreciative of any help you are getting.
Get rid of that blindness! Once you start to appreciate and be thankful of any help you are getting, you can fee so great!
In fact, once you learn to visualise any small or big help you receive, you can realise how blessed you are already!
Go out periodically
You need fresh air. The 24×7 routine of taking care of the baby related stuff can make you suffocated. And this will certainly affect your mental health.
It is easy to get frustrated and annoyed over little things when you are within the walls doing your chores.
Get out once in a while. Arrange for someone to take care of your baby for a few hours and go on a dinner date, or catch up with your friend in a coffee shop or go shopping and get some stuff for yourself.
Visit the salon
Salon can help you lift up your mood, and help you relax. Well a salon can do a lot of things.
First you can get yourself a pedicure or a massage. These are wonderful ways to just forget about your mommy-life for a while and slip to a world where you enjoy calmness and sanity.
You also get to pamper and treat yourself nicely for all you have gone through and are going through as a mommy.
A haircut, a facial or shaping those eyebrows could be things you have forgotten for quite a while now, since you are busy with the baby.
By taking care of those long standing beauty stuff, you can feel a lot higher – that sense of taking care of yourself will give you the much needed break and life in confidence.
Remember that this is a phase…
Be it the sleepless nights or the back to back baby-related chores, or may be that feeling of “always being wanted” – all these will be gone soon.
And you might end up missing that phase!
So just be in the moment and enjoy it. I totally agree that it can be messy, and physically and emotionally draining.
You may not get enough time for yourself and doing stuff that you would actually want to.
Use these tips to fee great!
I think the biggest help that anyone can offer to the person undergoing postpartum cases is the full support of the family and consistent caring for the person.